Gotsta Git Fonky
Oh, the debates. As I write this, the sub-section has probably failed to bring Articles back to prominence. I don't think it matters. You see, articles, they are for everyone. I'm the living proof of that. Imagine, one of the regular article writers affiliated with this very site comes from a little podunk, hickabilly town in one of the most illiterate places in the nation (West Virginia). Folks, I'm all about overcoming obstacles to bring what I can to the table. With that said, I can't work miracles. Chances are, I can't even influence you. So, as of now, you're probably wondering what this little insignificant writer has on his mind; or you may have just meant to click on the latest edition of the Crunch Chronicles. In such case, to steal a bit more of your time, I'll talk about that.
As I'm writing this (March 30), I just read Chapter 5.36 of the Crunch Chronicles (pick up your jaw; a third reader). As usual, the man brought on insight that this self-proclaimed guru usually doesn't touch, but he did mention the state of the Articles section. Rather than linking you to the whole article, here's the relevant chunk of the Zethtastic funk:
"...the articles section is dying off again. Even the other regular columnists we usually see, MikeTheEBGuru (who is not the EB Guru; "MikeAnEBGuru" might be more appropriate, but MikeTheEBGuru is l33t and I do not wish to get on his bad side; you love MikeTheEBGuru. Remember?) and SimonBob, seem to be trailing off a bit in their article writing, leaving only my oddball column and the "Mystery Writer"'s amusing interpretation of history. I'm sure the other regulars will get back into it soon, but we need more than this! Probably the current dearth of articles is due to several things:
1. The articles section always thrives for the first month or so after a new staffer comes, and then promptly dies as the novelty wears off.
2. Everyone's waiting for the debate.
3. The Crunch Chronicles are scaring people away from the articles section."
Trying to elaborate further on the issue would be like beating a dead horse. Oh, and while I'm on it, I addressed the whole internet handle thing, but it's understandable that those things may just be missed on occasion. My multi-site approach is simply my way of doing what I can, and it hopefully detracts from the theory of me "trailing off a bit" as it pretains to writing. Then again, writing takes time. Time, and a viable internet connection. Maybe I should look into that. Gang, if you don't see me contribute for awhile, I assure you that a) I'm in another one of my "real life" binds that simply take too much time, or b) I have no way of submitting. I doubt many of you even realize that I'm not actually active; at least, in the usual sense. You see, my motherboard decided to explode late last August. Since then, get this, I've been doing all of my submissions, fanfics and articles, all on a crusty 486 with my friend's AOL account as my only means of getting online (Why pay for an internet service when I don't have a decent computer?)
Now that I've basically been complaining about my situation to just about everyone now, I can only hope you see what I'm trying to accomplish. For the first time ever, I'm submitting because I find it downright appealing. I've whined and moaned about this last Summer with my controversial article, "The DeNiro Factor", but I now feel stronger than ever about my convictions. At times, since my 486's old browser won't allow me onto Hotmail, I've had to walk a mile to a friend's house with the sole purpose of submitting. Think about that when your on one of your 2-7+ hour online binges. Sit there with your Marshmallow Peeps and quick, lusty connection, and tell me you couldn't be doing better. The kind folks at Starmen.net can only do so much, and believe me, they have.
Allow me to formally commend the staff for these past few months. Although I haven't been around much, I've seen some improvements that make me quite content in not only being a fan of a game, but also being a fan of a fan site of a game. Analyze that as you wish, but the higher ups have done their share in keeping me, the fan, happy. Two Funfests that went swimmingly well, the petition wrapping up quite nicely, some new rumors, a better forum, and the actual staff. Since I don't usually speak in such an optimistic manner, let me just say that I'm really in the debt of some of the harder workers. SimonBob, PappyCat, you make me want to submit. Folks, you're quite lucky to have such nice, charismatic staff that really look to enjoy their positions. The solid public staff letter from reidman is really a non-issue with these two. They work with what they have, and neither of them could be commended enough for what they've done to former apathy mongers like me. I've turned a new leaf, and so can you.
You know you're opinionated. Whip out that old word processing program, and hop to that next article, Paco. If any generalizations could be made about my articles, it's that I tend to reply to quite a few in some form. That was all nothing but my way of lighting the old submission fire in your belly, buddy. Oh, and if the debates are any indication, arguing works too. Word to the wise for you forumers, you could really make an EarthBound/SM.net related issue seem much more mature and professional if you made it in the form of an article. Who knows, maybe it'll be you arguing about a topic you don't care about when you land in the official Debates sub-section. Oh, and guess what? Submitting articles, contrary to popular belief, doesn't hurt you in any way, shape or form!
Go ahead, write about how you love or loathe Brick Road's beady little eyes. Preach on about how Starmen.net would be "perfection" (not perfect, perfection), if Picky were finally made staff (it'd certainly let some of us #fsports guys have a bit more dignity after my favorite Frannie left when he got busy months ago), and if you think that testifying that Abe Vigoda should've played the role of Dr. Andonuts, nobody is going to stop you. Make it related to EarthBound, have fun, and cut loose. I know the Spring lull can be a bit tough on some, but I can't think of any season in the year that doesn't garner some complaints. What bad can come of it?
Worst case scenario, your article gets slammed, and you receive a public lynching in the eyes of your online peers. Whole forum topics are devoted to mocking your work, and inside jokes are already being compiled. That, and you've got one of those anal retentive writers making a retort that does nothing more than obliterates what credibility you thought you had. Big deal. If you've done nothing else, you made a fool of yourself, but you did it while bringing publicity to this great section. You got the funk, kid. The funk, and the audience. While the funk remains to be seen, I'll be right here; waiting. Who knows? Maybe you'll write something, and I'll feel compelled enough to take another one of those one mile jogs to a friend's house to get that fiesty, frisky rebuttle out there for the community to see. So, until I leave, we have another article maintainer problem, or this 486 explodes before I find a proper replacement, you can bet that I'll be burning the midnight hours writing something EarthBound related on good 'ole Wordpad. The only thing that could make this any more perfect for me is you. Write. It's good and good for you.PERFECT 10! The score will say 1.10, but it's actually 10.
Oh, the debates. As I write this, the sub-section has probably failed to bring Articles back to prominence. I don't think it matters. You see, articles, they are for everyone. I'm the living proof of that. Imagine, one of the regular article writers affiliated with this very site comes from a little podunk, hickabilly town in one of the most illiterate places in the nation (West Virginia). Folks, I'm all about overcoming obstacles to bring what I can to the table. With that said, I can't work miracles. Chances are, I can't even influence you. So, as of now, you're probably wondering what this little insignificant writer has on his mind; or you may have just meant to click on the latest edition of the Crunch Chronicles. In such case, to steal a bit more of your time, I'll talk about that.
As I'm writing this (March 30), I just read Chapter 5.36 of the Crunch Chronicles (pick up your jaw; a third reader). As usual, the man brought on insight that this self-proclaimed guru usually doesn't touch, but he did mention the state of the Articles section. Rather than linking you to the whole article, here's the relevant chunk of the Zethtastic funk:
"...the articles section is dying off again. Even the other regular columnists we usually see, MikeTheEBGuru (who is not the EB Guru; "MikeAnEBGuru" might be more appropriate, but MikeTheEBGuru is l33t and I do not wish to get on his bad side; you love MikeTheEBGuru. Remember?) and SimonBob, seem to be trailing off a bit in their article writing, leaving only my oddball column and the "Mystery Writer"'s amusing interpretation of history. I'm sure the other regulars will get back into it soon, but we need more than this! Probably the current dearth of articles is due to several things:
1. The articles section always thrives for the first month or so after a new staffer comes, and then promptly dies as the novelty wears off.
2. Everyone's waiting for the debate.
3. The Crunch Chronicles are scaring people away from the articles section."
Trying to elaborate further on the issue would be like beating a dead horse. Oh, and while I'm on it, I addressed the whole internet handle thing, but it's understandable that those things may just be missed on occasion. My multi-site approach is simply my way of doing what I can, and it hopefully detracts from the theory of me "trailing off a bit" as it pretains to writing. Then again, writing takes time. Time, and a viable internet connection. Maybe I should look into that. Gang, if you don't see me contribute for awhile, I assure you that a) I'm in another one of my "real life" binds that simply take too much time, or b) I have no way of submitting. I doubt many of you even realize that I'm not actually active; at least, in the usual sense. You see, my motherboard decided to explode late last August. Since then, get this, I've been doing all of my submissions, fanfics and articles, all on a crusty 486 with my friend's AOL account as my only means of getting online (Why pay for an internet service when I don't have a decent computer?)
Now that I've basically been complaining about my situation to just about everyone now, I can only hope you see what I'm trying to accomplish. For the first time ever, I'm submitting because I find it downright appealing. I've whined and moaned about this last Summer with my controversial article, "The DeNiro Factor", but I now feel stronger than ever about my convictions. At times, since my 486's old browser won't allow me onto Hotmail, I've had to walk a mile to a friend's house with the sole purpose of submitting. Think about that when your on one of your 2-7+ hour online binges. Sit there with your Marshmallow Peeps and quick, lusty connection, and tell me you couldn't be doing better. The kind folks at Starmen.net can only do so much, and believe me, they have.
Allow me to formally commend the staff for these past few months. Although I haven't been around much, I've seen some improvements that make me quite content in not only being a fan of a game, but also being a fan of a fan site of a game. Analyze that as you wish, but the higher ups have done their share in keeping me, the fan, happy. Two Funfests that went swimmingly well, the petition wrapping up quite nicely, some new rumors, a better forum, and the actual staff. Since I don't usually speak in such an optimistic manner, let me just say that I'm really in the debt of some of the harder workers. SimonBob, PappyCat, you make me want to submit. Folks, you're quite lucky to have such nice, charismatic staff that really look to enjoy their positions. The solid public staff letter from reidman is really a non-issue with these two. They work with what they have, and neither of them could be commended enough for what they've done to former apathy mongers like me. I've turned a new leaf, and so can you.
You know you're opinionated. Whip out that old word processing program, and hop to that next article, Paco. If any generalizations could be made about my articles, it's that I tend to reply to quite a few in some form. That was all nothing but my way of lighting the old submission fire in your belly, buddy. Oh, and if the debates are any indication, arguing works too. Word to the wise for you forumers, you could really make an EarthBound/SM.net related issue seem much more mature and professional if you made it in the form of an article. Who knows, maybe it'll be you arguing about a topic you don't care about when you land in the official Debates sub-section. Oh, and guess what? Submitting articles, contrary to popular belief, doesn't hurt you in any way, shape or form!
Go ahead, write about how you love or loathe Brick Road's beady little eyes. Preach on about how Starmen.net would be "perfection" (not perfect, perfection), if Picky were finally made staff (it'd certainly let some of us #fsports guys have a bit more dignity after my favorite Frannie left when he got busy months ago), and if you think that testifying that Abe Vigoda should've played the role of Dr. Andonuts, nobody is going to stop you. Make it related to EarthBound, have fun, and cut loose. I know the Spring lull can be a bit tough on some, but I can't think of any season in the year that doesn't garner some complaints. What bad can come of it?
Worst case scenario, your article gets slammed, and you receive a public lynching in the eyes of your online peers. Whole forum topics are devoted to mocking your work, and inside jokes are already being compiled. That, and you've got one of those anal retentive writers making a retort that does nothing more than obliterates what credibility you thought you had. Big deal. If you've done nothing else, you made a fool of yourself, but you did it while bringing publicity to this great section. You got the funk, kid. The funk, and the audience. While the funk remains to be seen, I'll be right here; waiting. Who knows? Maybe you'll write something, and I'll feel compelled enough to take another one of those one mile jogs to a friend's house to get that fiesty, frisky rebuttle out there for the community to see. So, until I leave, we have another article maintainer problem, or this 486 explodes before I find a proper replacement, you can bet that I'll be burning the midnight hours writing something EarthBound related on good 'ole Wordpad. The only thing that could make this any more perfect for me is you. Write. It's good and good for you.PERFECT 10! The score will say 1.10, but it's actually 10.
