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Mailbag V! Will it be a success? Or will it bomb like Rocky V? I guess it's up to you guys! Let's try something a little different.

This Week's Topic:
Congratulations, you have purchased The Topolla Theatre! Since Venus decided singing sucked, you now need to bring five people together to create a new band. Give this band a name, instruments, and use characters from the game to make up the roster. Oh, and do they have a hit single off their hit album? Let me know!

It's pretty obvious that the Topolla Theatre is best when it's bursting at the sides with squealing fangirls and stoic music lovers alike, and the only way to draw such a crowd is to have a group that will please everyone. First off, we have Venus' mommy, who will appeal to the older crowd, playing the electric triangle, since it's likley that Venus sucked up all the talent of their family, and everyone knows the triangle can be played by a catfish. Next, we have Orange Kid on drums, since he has such a rabid fanbase of blond NPCs. Plus we'll get extra points with the fangirls since drummers never wear shirts. Third up is Magic Cake Woman on vocals. Everyone likes cake, so it makes perfect sense that everyone likes cake makers. Her meaningful lyrics and offbeat voice will win over those who like to think when they go to a concert, or rather, those that like to think. The fourth member would be none other than Trumpet Player McMan from Western Onett, because we'll totally save money if we don't have to provide him with an instrument or talent lessons. Finally, we need to have Frank Fly playing the demo on a keyboard, because you have to have SOMEONE in your band who wears sunglasses, even indoors. And carries knifes. Being an obvious choice for a flash in the pan group, this band's name will be "The Majestic Wishers Beyond A Beautiful Horizon", so it sounds deep and meaningful. Their hit album, "Hello Rainbow Fruit Mix", will consist of their hit song, "Everybody Hates You", and a track with the Happy Days theme song. Tell me that doesn't please everyone.

The first thing I thought of while reading this entry, was how Venus' mother is supposed to please the older crowd. And I immediately thought of Jim. I have a hunch he'll love this band just because of the lady. Playing the electric triangle, eh? So she's a modern-day Betty Cooper? (I hope someone gets that reference.)

Orange Kid would probably invent a new set of drums, and they'll break mid-concert. I don't know if he'd be the best choice. I'd have gone with Master Belch on drums. Everyone would go just to see how he'd play the instrument.

Magic Cake Lady on vocals? This isn't the seventies.

The Onett dude and Frank Fly are not bad choices. Knives are necessities when it comes to musicians (Ask Bill Eager) and having the instrument does save a lot of money. I can respect that 110%.

And thanks for the mention. How did you know "The Majestic Wishers Beyond A Beautiful Horizon" was my band in high school?

Criminal Caterpillar-Drummer

Ness's Dad-Lead Guitarist/Vocals

Mr.Saturn-Back-up Guitarist/Vocals

Buzz Buzz-Lead Dancer

Dr.Andonuts-Back-up Dancer

Insane Phone Posse?

I do not feel like being creative.. I give!

You and your lack of creativity. Lousy television.

The one thing I have to say about your entry is this: Buzz Buzz would be one "fly" dancer. Get it? he's an insect. Tee hee.

All right first we get a our back-up singer Starman Jr. Then we'll grab a zombie or two from Threed as back up dancers. Add Dr. Andonuts, who can play a funky keyboard, Lier X, who secretly plays the flute, toss in a lost and confused Duster playing the bass and you have... Well a really crappy band unless you have some magic cake. MMMMMM ~MAGIC CAKE MAKE HAPPY~ (Sorry for the stupidity)

What is with all the Magic Cake? Do you Americans not have turkey for Thanksgiving.

I also dig the idea of back-up dancers. When I was thinking of possible band peoples, I never thought about it. I suppose it could work.

Why would anyone secretly play the flute? JeffMan plays the flute, and he's awesome. Seriously. Go listen to his EB stuff.

Let's see..

Ness: Bass.

Carpainter: Piano.

Picky: Trombone.

Frank: Drums.

Venus's sister: Singing.

Yep. That's what I got. :D

P.S. lol hi

Uh, why did you choose Ness for bass? Because his name is four letters long?

It's obvious why Venus would be the singer, and why I would play the piano. I mean, I'm a jive soul brother. Seriously. Totally not lying.

Frank may puncture the drums with his knives. And Picky is too small to play a trombone. You should have put more thought into it.

lol bye

KA-BAAAANG!! Comin' right atcha, it's the next Dynamic Quinto,

THE IMPORTED FIVE!

Featuring:

-Big Brother Pancho on vocals w/guitar

-Kid Brother Pincho on vocals w/small guitar

-Tomas Jefferson on with all those snazzy Spanish instruments

-Man K. Man on specialty imported 5-foot-wide BONGOS

-And, on the Spoon, it's the Guy with the gold tooth and whose eyebrows are connected!

This is a hit album/concerto you do NOT want to miss!

We're so cool, we can prepare your own toast!

Catch them this MIERCOLES at 21:00!

You will regret it if you don't come!

First concert: Their grand smash,

"Our Casinos Hate You"!

[Notice from the manager: Be wary of the dangling disco ball near table 5-A, it could fall any day now. Except it might fall on our band instead. Uh-oh.]

You win this week. Easily. The Imported Five? I love it.

Man K. Man has something I always thought should have had more backstory. That being, the King Banana. I just think it's the ultimate item in the game. It should do more than just be traded to talk to Talah Rama. I know this week is supposed to be about the various band ideas and so forth, but I just have to say. King Banana is awesome.

I love casinos. I love imported people. I just gots to says this. You did well, Mr. Baconman. You did well.

Hmm, this is a hard one.

I guess I'd have Ness as the main vocalist, and playing the piano, that's a start. I would then have the new age retro hippie with an acoustic guitar, vocals and percusion, the unnassuming local guy on the bass, the star lord or whoever he is on the electric guitar (if he invented starstorm, the essensce of badassery, I'm sure he can bust out incredible solos) and the Phsycic Psycho on the drums. They would all provide backing vocals. The band would play a twised combination of Led Zepplin, Queen and The Beatles, if that is even possible.

Recap:

Ness: Vocals, Piano

New Age Retro Hippie: Acoustic Guitar, Percussion, Vocals

Unassuming Local Guy: Bass

Star Master: Electric Guitar

Psychic Psycho: Drums

Music: A Queen/Led Zepplin/Beatles hybrid

Seriously, that would be so awesome...

I'm going to let the term "badassery" slide. I don't know if I should, but oh well.

Ness on vocals is hilarious. How would we know if he can even sing? Maybe he could do spoken word like William Shatner. That would be entertaining. Then again, I'd love to see Shatner on piano too.

Hippies and Local Guys could be cool, but only for the cheap pops. "And on Bass ... YOUR VERY OWN ... UNASSUMING LOCAL GUY!"

Psychic Psychoon drums? He'd just sit there, and the sticks would move. That's awesome on so many levels, buddy. You may have hit the jackpot there.

QuZeppBeats style, eh? I dig, I dig.

I might as well start up an jazz and world fusion band, with Poo as the instrument soloist, perhaps playing something such as a a Shakuhachi. The other four would be: Jeff on the pizzicato double bass (random), Paula on the grand piano (Whenever I see Paula, I always imagine her on the piano, or even on the violin...), Ness on the guitar (random), and Picky on the drums (I kind of image Picky with drums, and I also think Picky would work very well with Ness, unlike Pokey). It would be good to create a "fusion music" of traditional Eastern music, with swing jazz music. Thus their band name would be "East Swing." Highly individual, their single 'Dalaam Heights' would be a hit for many people, but may not appeal for some.

P.S.) Erratum for my last week's Mailbag (Midfielder leads us off...):

(Last sentence of first paragraph)

"In other words, anyone get to have my say posted as well..." I should have written "In other words, anyone get to have 'HIS/HER' say posted as well..." Sorry if it caused any misunderstanidng.

Thanks for clearing up last week. I was semi-confused, but it's awesome to see I was semi-right.

East Swing? Ehhh, it has its selling points I suppose. The one thing about this that bothers me, is should Poo be the focal point? I mean, Ness is the leader of the Chosen Four. He's the one who defeats Giygas, really. But hey. It's your band. Haha.

You know what? I'm sold on Picky. To look back at last week, I'd love to have Picky join the Chosen Five. He doesn't need something PSI like Ness, Paula or Poo. Jeff could give him something, I'm sure. Picky is a brave guy. He'd do very well.

How many other people had to google "Shakuhachi" after reading this letter?

So we (and by 'we', I mean 'I') have to start this off by totally making it a ska band. Why? Because ska is awesome, that's why. And it's weird, compared to pop music. And like ska, EarthBound is also both awesome and weird. Q.E.D.

On vocals and lead guitar, I'm going to take the "Preet! Poot!" guy from Dalaam. He seems to have the singing part down pat, so now we just need to stick a koto or an Er-Hu in his hand or something and we're good to go.

On trumpet, I have to pick Jeff. He's fixed enough of those in his life already, I'm sure he knows how they work. Plus, I bet he could harmonize the *heck* out of the songs, what with his physics and all.

For our sax, I am *not* going to take the weird trumpet/sax player from Onett. He doesn't seem to have a wide variety of music to play. I'd probably hold an open audition in Fourside or something and see who takes this. I'm sure someone good has to be there.

On bass... I have no clue. I'd probably just hire the bassist from the Runaway Five. Nobody really cares who the bassist is anyway.

And on drums, I would have to sign the guy who lost his shirt playing blackjack in the Monotoli Building Lobby. Why? Because he would know pretty darn well how to avoid bad beats.

*rimshot*

Because this is now officially The Weirdest Band Ever, I would want to try and see just how popular this band can become simply through word of mouth. Therefore, I would give it the most un-Googlable name ever: The The. You'd go listen to them based on the name alone, wouldn't you?

They don't have a hit single yet. Ask again later.

Ska is good. You sold me there. Although, you almost lost me on "Q.E.D." What is that?

Koto? Er-Hu? You're crazy. However, songs consisting of "Preet! Poot!" would sell albums. Moreso than heavy metal or J-Pop. I'm calling it now.

Are you saying Jeff could be some electronica wizard? He could be like Gary Numan, but solid. (I wonder how many people show Mansion this reply? Haha! Free advertising for mailbag!) Nobody cares about the bassist. Which is why the band a few posts up had the Unassuming Local Guy for cheap pops.

LOL at the poker reference. Appreciate it.

The The? That *must* be taken already. It has to be. Oh, and in week 31, I'm going to ask if they have a hit yet. Quote me now.

Carparama summarizes:

Bleh. A day late on the update bugs me. But moreso, I only had eight replies. I was hoping this topic would go over better, but oh well. I guess I have to try harder for next week!

Oh, and Giygas on Banjo is my band. The name alone is freakin' cool.