Welcome to the wild world of Starmen.Net's most prolific shoutspace, the Mailbag! This is where you, the EarthBound Community, can sound off on the most important issues in the EarthBound world, or, if you prefer, you can just write in about any random EarthBound/Starmen.Net related topic you choose. But before you submit your thoughts, make sure to read the rules!

The topic for next week is:

Auctions! Woah! There's a list of auctions as long as my hand on the rightbar! I want to know who's buying all these EB carts. If you're one of the lucky customers, I want to know about your experience with online shopping. And if you're only just considering picking up some EB merch, maybe I can convince you to take the leap!

Also, remember that you don't have to write just on this topic. You can send me a letter about anything that sparks your interest. You don't have to write in on this topic if you don't want to. You can pick a topic and write about it, or, if you have anything else on your mind about EarthBound or Starmen.Net, please, send that in too! Everyone is encouraged to write in about whatever they're thinking about. Mailbag letters don't have to be long; they can be whatever length you want them to be, anywhere between one sentence and 220 pages. But please don't copy and paste the entire text of "Overcoming Shyness" and send that to me. I read it, I enjoyed it, but it's massive and would crush my puny email account. (It's 221 pages long, precisely 1 page more than the upper limit.)

The topic for this week's Mailbag was:

Radio PSI! - Seriously, are you listening to this now? It's not just a bunch of guys going "hey listen to me I'm on the radio!" (Well, maybe Carpainter's show is.) Let's have some feedback!

Not one person noticed my clever use of 'feedback' as a pun, not even me. I try so hard, and everyone just walks by, and it's like being a sidewalk chalk artist... ehhh. I have a wicked headache.

Dear Nintendo:

There are many earthbound fans outside the realm of starmen.net. I mean, just look at all the non-rock-candy-related earthbound song covers on ocremix.org. That must mean something! That's like all the starmen.net fans +12!

I promise on the grave of my dead ancestor Wilhelm von Wilhelm that mother 3 will sell 30 million copies if released in the U.S.A. Coincidentally, I have inherited the fortune of Wilhelm von Wilhelm and will be blowing it all on 30 million copies of mother 3 when released in the U.S. Why? So that NOA will think it profitable to release mother 4 in the U.S.

Nintendo, please, at least TRY to make gamers happy.

- Jerry

What I like best about the OCRemix EB covers is that every second song isn't another version of Pollyanna. Anybody remember when SLing did a remix of all his Eight Melodies remixes? That stands out to me as one of the community's defining musical moments.

Anyway, you've got the fortune of Wilhelm von Wilhelm and you haven't already spent it? Can I make a helpful suggestion? Hire a construction company and build us a bridge to Japan so we can just drive over and pick up Mother 3 ourselves. I'm pretty sure old man Wilhelm had the coin to back up a project of that magnitude.

--- SimonBob

Radio PSI is fun. Everybody there is like family to me. I win Channels whenever it's a game that I've actually played, which isn't often because I was too young to remember all the rental games: Uniracer, Frankenstein, Joe and Mac, Bubsy in: Close Encounters of the Furred Kind. Then all the other games I've just never played.

Okay, now I'm going to take the liberty of just not writing on this topic and writing not on this topic.

I'm not writing on this topic! I'm writing on a different topic! This often makes SimonBob angry because I cannot cohere to his simple rules. Ah, the spark of my interest set a house on fire! I am enjoying enlightenment. What's your opinion on carnivorous hats. Preservation or no? I think all animals deserve to live, even if they're hats that eat people.

- Radiation

Channels fever seems to be spreading through the minds of the hardcore listeners. For the unenlightened, Channels is a game where Mansion_Maniac takes a song from an SNES game and plays just two music channels, adding two more every twenty seconds, while the entire chatroom goes nuts trying to guess the game it's from based on the bass track and some incidental flute music. It really does end up being tons of fun, but the regs have ruined it a little bit by guaranteeing that ManMan will never use a track from Actraiser.

And carniverous hats sound like a good enemy for EarthBound. "The Carnivorous Hat ate Paula's Goddess Ribbon in the confusion of the battle!" @#$! I spent two hours getting that ribbon!

--- SimonBob

Nope. I listened to it a while ago then stopped. Never put requests in. I really just dont have enough time. It's not Man Man's fault, let me get that clear.

- notalentjew

Aye, it does take a bit of endurance to listen to upwards of nine hours of radio every weekend. I often listen to only an hour or two myself, although I like to line it up as background music while I work on updating the Mailbag. (Now you know why my updates are always in the evening!)

--- SimonBob

I demand more SimonBob Radio or who knows what'll happen......

- Eb fan 2

Oh, I have a feeling it'll be back sometime soon. :gasp:

--- SimonBob

Hey SimonBob. Man, the last time I listened to Radio PSI, I think dax was doing it, and he had some Super Ultra Mambo Tango Foxtrot MEGAMIX going on up in there. After that, he played some Ken Nordine. Good quality music, I must say, but it definitely could have used more cow- er, uhhhh... Think fast! That flannel wolf pirate just stole your pants!

- special k

I used to call shadow's radio the "Private Floyd Showcase." That's because one time there were maybe three people listening to it and I was the only one in the chatroom, so he kicked off a twenty-minute Pink Floyd set just for me. The sense of entitlement I gained that day has led directly to this exact moment. Now a flannel wolf pirate has my pants. Suddenly I don't feel so entitled any more.

--- SimonBob

Radio Psi: to some it just sounds like an excuse for man man and the rest to be like "hey man look at me rockin out i'm on the radiooooo with dannie and lisa" but no its much more than that, it's bringin' people together, getting the lead out, and promoting hivemind cultist behaviour, that my good sir is Radio Psi

- Nesskid

Yes, yes, it's our personal hypnotism service. Rats! I've unlocked the first piece of the puzzle that will eventually lead to the downfall of our evil totalitarian website. At least I'll always have my Ninja Club.

--- SimonBob

I like radio, especially oz radio 'cause he plays the phat beats.

- Leeman

I'm down with that! I'm also down with the thinn beats. Fast beats, slow beats, high beats, low beats, in beats, out beats, I'm talkin' 'bout beats! Woosh, I just pulled off some kinda freestyle fight mode yo.

--- SimonBob

I've never been too big a fan of Internet radio, since that means I have to be at my computer to hear it. Plus, it always seems to be on the weekends, which is when I'm off being a social nerd, playing D&D. Or I'm working.

Now if Radio PSI could take over, say, an AM station (for maximum range in exchange for sound quality) somewhere in the southwest, that would be pretty cool. You would have to fight off the FCC, of course, but if you look online I'm sure you'll find people with experience in such matters.

- The Losar

Sure, because we don't already get enough trouble from all the other organizations that want to sue and maim us. Probably we'd end up getting sued a million dollars because DJ Carp would have a wardrobe malfunction. Yes, I know it's radio. That's how awesome the DJs are. They'd find a way.

--- SimonBob

Dear Nintendo,

GIVE US MOTHER 3 OR WE WILL SET FIRE TO THE NOA BUILDING! NOW. anskjndajkndkjankjcsa;sasdl[pa'sfl[ pdlv

Sincerely,
EBPlayer.

My brain wrote that! Hey, you said to give you the angry M3 requests here!

I, um, I gotta... go. Over there.

--- SimonBob

Dear Simonbob,

Can I be a guest letter-answerer for a day? I think it would be fun. What are my qualifications, you ask? Well, I'll tell you my qualifications. First of all, I have a cool name. Secondly, I'm a dude. And finally, I can say the Pledge of Alligiance.

If you let me guest host, that would place me one step closer to my goal, taking over your job. >_> >_>

- Saro

Okay, this gets asked pretty often, so I'll just answer it now and that'll be that. Answering Mailbag letters is hard. You have to think of stuff all the time and make fun of people, and that can be pretty merciless work. That's why I reserve guest co-responding for my fellow staffers and forum moderators; they're already numbed to the long hours and gruelling typing required for accurately mocking people. That, and these days I'm usually so busy that I don't have time to organize co-responding in the first place.

I'm thinkin' I'll just let people take a number to try to take over my job. Why does everyone want to do Mailbag? Articles is a lot easier. Go bug Liar!

--- SimonBob

First of all, I know we are all hopeful for Mother 3's release here in the "states", but I find it highly unlikely that it would happen for these reasons:

1. Earthbound's release here in the states was horrible with very few sales.

2. A little while after Earthbound was released, hackers made a .rom file out of it and put it on the internet.

So why would NoJ (Nintendo of Japan) release Mother 3 in the states? They will have to do tons of work to translate it, and they assume that the launch will be horrible again and anyways, hackers will get the import and translate it anyway and release it on the internet.. so what's the point? I know there are some people loyal to the series (i actually bought mine)

so.. we'll get it anyway.. so....

- SpaceTrizzle

So, wait - we are getting it? Or we aren't? You're totally goin' back and forth here, man.

At any rate, I've got one refutation that'll answer both your concerns: it was 1995! Back then, Nintendo didn't know the full potential that was locked within RPGs yet, especially on handheld systems. And the hacking scene was so small as to be a nonexistent concern, which it still is in many ways.

Yeah, it's a lot of work to translate and localize video games. It's also a lot of work to update Mailbag. But that's just how we roll. Me and NOJ, we're not so different, ysee? So I'm just gonna assume that I've convinced you so hard that it actually went back in time and made you change your mind as you were writing your letter. Am I good, or what?

--- SimonBob

Dear Mailbaggers,

I'm going on and off topic.
Firstly on...
I do not listen to psiradio because my computer is crap and also because..I love you?
--
off topic...
I'm getting very excited for Mother 3 since its getting alot of wanting and usualy good sales in Japan MAY equal internationaly shipping!
But with our luck it'll be only shipped to germany or Africa...
*sigh* We start the gaming with Atari and we're now bwgging them for games...
Where had we gone wrong?
(Excluding the E.T game..)

- Zock Endland

Bah! If you really loved us, you'd upgrade your computer. :D.

--- SimonBob

DEAREST SIMONBOB,

You are fun to interact with.
Radio PSI is fun to interact with.
Too bad I'm always busy on the weekends.

WAS IT A POEM?

No.

It was a POEM.

- PoeTrader

So I guess you're changing your name to Poet Rader? You misspelled "Raider."

THIS WEEK ON POET RAIDER: THE ASSAULT ON SILAS MARNER

--- SimonBob

Forget mailbag Dude, let's go bowling.

- Foppy King

I'm with you, bro.

--- SimonBob