What was the WORST game of all time?

What makes a game good and what makes a game bad is all in the opinion of the player, regardless of factors like playability, graphics, sound, plot, and replay value. However, as the gaming industry expanded and embraced better technology, something very odd occurred: Games became able to be worse.

Let me offer an example. Tetris is a classic game, but these days, it just doesn't cut it in terms of sophistication, graphics, sound, and flashiness. However, it took those Russians ages to develop and program that game, and the effort put into it showed. For an 8-bit game, Tetris rocked.

Now take a look at what we're dealing with in the modern gaming industry.

We have awesome games like Grant Theft Auto 3, Metal Gear Solid 2, and Final Fantasy X. All of these games were achieved through the same dedication and creativity of the makers of Tetris, and even the makers of Pong. However, with the new technology, people became lazy. There are some PlayStation games out there that are just plain bad, even though they beat out Tetris on the sophistication scale. Think about the Agetec games. Sure, they're low budget, but the dedication and creativity are not there. There are knockoffs of past games which were more solid and playable in their 8-bit incarnations. Technology, therefore, has allowed games to become worse.

In the Atari days, you needed to know what you were doing to make a game that worked. It was a small industry, and the quality standards were high, even though the technology standards were low. These days, you have huge companies developing fifty games at once. Certainly some of the released games will be awful. You can get kits now to make games; in fact, gamers can get kits to make their own games (think RM2k). Laziness has evolved with technology; people who program machine code are either part of a larger team, or nonexistent in projects.

Does this mean all games have become worse? Absolutely not. Games have become better. But, upon examining the industries of 1982 and 2002, it is clear that in 1982, many more games stayed on the top of the quality game. "It isn't really hard to find bad games" is a statement that supports my argument, I believe.

Could the issue be that we're spoiled? Sure. Back in the eighties, video games were a thrill. People lined up to play Pole Position, an estimation of car racing with funky pixellation and a very simple interface. These days, people scoff at the newest surround-sound, realistic cockpit, all-3-D graphics, and 8-player capability. Why? Because they didn't include Paris as a circuit. That certainly is not a line for Pole Position. We're choosers in this era, a big change from the days of the eighties when we lined up in front of Pac-Man. The good news is, we've been spoiled by good games. RPG fans from pre-1990 would have loved to play any of the Final Fantasies. But people of today? "I only like FF7." "FF8 was terrible, the Junction system was horrific." "FF10 was too linear." I would have rather played any of those games instead of Dragon Warrior.

What is the future of game quality? I think that the gap will widen. We will have totally sweet games, and we will have real bombs that don't deserve to be in the Clearance bin at Blockbuster. The industry will get more industrial, and we will get both good and bad games shoved down our throat. I think the future of games is not in the technological aspects, but the conceptual ones. Look at Dance Dance Revolution. A huge success in Japan and the U.S., and it doesn't even have to compete with Square or Konami for graphics. In fact, they didn't even need a Nobuo Uematsu for the music. They got fun-loving pop and dance musicians to create the soundtrack! Head-to-head fighting games are passe and lend themselves to harsh, routine criticism. Dancing video games? Wow!

It's the concept that makes the games of today good, and it's laziness that makes games bad. Laziness includes not being able to have a concept, making a copy of another gaming style, and almost always making the genre less interesting. I have faith in the future though, I think that the next few years will produce some really awesome games that will make the bad games worth the agony.

--Sephy

(P.S. my least favorite game has to be Metroid, because I was no good at it, and it used to scare me and give me nightmares. I also didn't care too much for the soundtrack. Not too focused.)





Congratulations on writing a Letter of the Week!

We have another despot sitting on the throne of Letter of the Week Writing-hood. Ruling over his kingdom with an iron fist, Sephy churns out the longest and most intelligent letter I've seen yet.* Now, I'm going on my usual "Rebel-against-the-good-letter-writers" campaign. Write a better letter than Sephy, and I will love you!

Congrats on the branding,
-STARMANDELUXE-

*Translation: Good Lord, that was long.



You are so trying for Letter of the Week with this one. This isn't a letter, it's a rant on modern videogaming. So I'm going to ignore all of it and just talk about your postscript.

*ahem*

HA HA You're scared of Metroids! Neener neener! OH LOOKOUT IT'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!! AH HA HA HA!! You thought it was gonna suck out your brains!! Har har har har!! I'll bet you're scared of headcrabs from Half-Life and facehuggers from Alien too! Hahahah! Pansy boy! I think I'll draw Ness fighting some jellyfish and you'll be too scared to post it! ;D

--- SimonBob

my least favorite game isgame and watch gallery 1 2 3 4

--MATT



How can that be? G&W is famous for being stupid, repetitive, annoying, and having no depth, and yet, they have to be some of the most endearing and loved games of all time. There MUST be something wrong with you, for any and all sane people LOVE Game and Watch.

--StarmanDeluxe



INFIDEL. Game & Watch is like the Mafia of all games, with the amazingly hi-tech "Ball" being the godfather. Mr. G&W has a way of making people like you... disappear.

--SimonBob

I have been screwed last week. But if you remember the saying, First the worst, Second the best, Third the Golden Bird. Thus, I am a golden bird. Either way, the world can hear my insights again.

There is NEVER a bad game. Now, call me crazy... but there was never a bad game. Sure, some people may call FFMQ the worst Final Fantasy ever. But some people also think it's the best. (Me.)

It's all about opinion. I'm one of the only people who is in love with "Power Rangers" for SNES. King of The Monsters. So many fun times. It all depends on the person.

So StarmanDeluxe, this question has the same irrelavance as: "Who's better? Democratics or Republicians." But, if by this question you meant opinion, then I would say my least favourite game would be Deep Blue for Turbo Grafx 16. And even then, it's still a good game :)

--Carpainter
(The Golden Bird)



I always thought it was "First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest." "Golden Bird" and "Worst" do not rhyme. I understand that "Bird" and "Third" rhyme, but your version is inferior anyway. Oh, right, and when it comes to politics, I would have to say those good ol' liberal Democrats have the right idea.

--StarmanDeluxe



I always thought it went "First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the ballerina dress!" But I live in Canada where we have five political parties, at least three of which are different.

*stands in line between Carp and SMDX so as to always be the best* [Note from StarmanDeluxe: *Shoots SimonBob, shoves his corpse into a nearby conveniently-placed dumpster, and grabs some random person to stand behind me, who is behind Carpy. Therefore, I win!*]

-- SimonBob

I've played a lot of truly bad games in my life, on many different systems. Titles like these come to mind: Shaq Fu, Roger Clemens MVP baseball, Golgo 13, TMNT 3: the Manhattan Project, Tecmo Secret of the Stars, Army Men: Sarge's Heroes, Multi Racing Championship, Home Alone, Home Alone 2, Home Alone Strikes Back, and Bubsy.

But in my opinion, the very worst video game I've ever played, the most utterly unenjoyable, stupid, ill-designed and just plain unplayable game, is -- and i'm serious about this -- Pok�mon Snap.

--Zeth



You know, I actually really enjoyed Pokemon Snap. I own it. At one point after playing it, I became so bent on becoming a photographer when I grew up, I dashed to the library and checked out four or five books on photography.

"Next on 'Ripley's Believe-it-or-Not...'"

--StarmanDeluxe



What, you don't like riding around in the Zero-One?

No, seriously, I agree with you. Pokemon Snap was pretty badly designed. It would've been cooler if Professor Oak gave you a shotgun and you had to deathmatch with Mewtwo in a big labyrinth. They could've called it "Pokemon Snap Your Leg In Half." Except I'd feel bad about shooting Mewtwo, so there'd have to be a "play as Mewtwo" option.

--SimonBob

My least favorite video game is obviously Bebe's Kids, but everyone knows why I (and many others) hate it. Lets move on to my 2nd least liked, Digimon World 2 for the PSX.

Digimon World 2 had graphics that looked like it was made in the Playstation's early years, and this is a last gen game. In battle, is no background, just a black space. This is PSX, not a NES. Many attack animations look the same, like Pepper Breath, Spiral Twister and Blue Blaster. The voices are still in Japanese. Also, the voices are done once for each monster (ex. boom bubble for Patamon sounds the same as Wargreymon's). If you play on a PSX, normal battles against enemies weaker than you can take up to three minutes. The best part of this game is the controls, but why would you buy a game for that? This is obviously the worst game for PSX. (Note: I used to be a Digimon fan, and even then, I knew it sucked)

--NessSnorlax



Another reason that Digimon sucks: It's a cheap ripoff of Pok�mon, which was really only a mediocre game to begin with.

--StarmanDeluxe



I agree. Digimon need to be Digiuthanized. Storing your Digidestined in the Digiworld is cruel and unusual punishment. You need a couple of days in the DigiDungeon just for knowing the names of the attacks, young man.

--SimonBob

I've never played Bebe's Kids, so i'd have to say Toejam and Earl is the worst game i've ever played. It sounded kinda cool when i downloaded -_- it. It was like that rabbit game whacked out on magic cake! I gave up after an hour cause i didn't know what to do, and that's why it is the worst game *ever*(next to Bebe's Kids).

--ProudClod



Oh. My. God. Toejam & Earl rocked. *digs through his belongings, an pulls out a small canister.* Now, you will die. *Forces the canister in the throat of this particular letter-writer, who then proceeds to explode.*

--StarmanDeluxe



I thought TJ&E was kinda interesting, there were jam sessions and stuff. And you had to round up humans and get them off your jammin' planet. But yeah, it didn't make any sense.

--SimonBob

The WORST game in the world is A Boy And His Blob. There is no point in this game and all that you do is walk and feed this dumb blob jelly beans.

--David



I've never heard of, nor played, this game, so I'll let you go on the assumption that it really was bad. SimonBob seems a little bent out of shape about this, though...

--StarmanDeluxe



SIXTEEN LASHES AND YOU WALK THE PLANK.

You know what the problem is? NOBODY has any imagination anymore. Boy & His Blob was one of the first games I ever played and even I knew enough to put a hole through the sewer to get to the cave systems below. If I couldn't get past something one way, I'd try another until I got it right. All these people these days are just like "Uhhhnnn quick fix come tell me how to do a barrel roll mister Peppy" and "helos this sign says I have to walk quietly by not moving the stick so far and it has a not-so-subtle hint to kill the plant that way" and "ONOS A ROCK BETTER CHEK GAMEFAQS!!" You people are pathetic. Maybe you should do what I did when I didn't understand a game and read the manual.

--SimonBob

The worst game? Well, that is going to be tuff, seeing as how I do have some games that I realy dislike, but the worst one? I would have to say that it is (for me atleast)is Zelda:Majora's Mask. This game is horible when compaired to any other game in the Zelda serize. It was way too short, they spent half of the carts memory on the 3 day feature, and they had it revolve around masks. In my veiw Ocariana of Time is better, not the best but better. My second most hated game would be EverQuest and probably all other games that you have to pay for on a monthly(or more fequently) basis.

--Anonymous



Well, I never finished MM, because I disliked it so. However, it wasn't the worst game ever, but DEFINATELY the worst Zelda game.

--StarmanDeluxe



I'm going to give you the benifit of the doubt here and assume that you meant Majora's Mask was the worst Zelda game. And even then I think you're wrong. Sure, it's not as good as LttP, but it's comparable to Zelda 2 (Adventure of Link) in my opinion. Z2 was an action game more than an adventure; MM was too short. But at least they both had a cool concept. So you could name a lot of games that are worse than both of them.

So, I'll be lenient on you: no plank-walking, but you have to do a public apology.

--SimonBob

Earthbound. Okay, I love the game, but ever since Ness came back he's been a total jerk. You can't even have a conversation with him anymore. You say "Hey, want some yogurt?" to him, and he replies with "No, because *I* had plenty of yogurt on *MY* adventure, where *I* saved the world." He's always brining up that saving the world crap to show off.



Hey! Don't be talkin' about my bro Ness like that. We ultra-stars have REASON to be uptight and snotty.

--StarmanDeluxe



You think you have it tough? I have to deal with Paula at school all the time. She's always getting Magic Truffles off the local dealer. She does nothing in class except set my books on fire and draws little pink hearts that say "Ness + Paula" in them. And in science, she froze one of the dangerous chemical jars and cracked the glass! We had to evacuate the school for a week! Next time I hear a prayer from her, I'm gonna tell her to buzz off. Nuts to her band of adventurers, if they needed my help then they should've asked me to join them when they were actually in town.

--SimonBob

I remember the day I went into Walmart and was going to get a new game, I don't know why maybe my birthday or something it was a long time ago. Well, here I was looking for some new SNES(SNES days, ya remember when the only games in the shelves were SNES or SEGA... yeah then) game to buy. I stumbled across this game called "Mario's Time Machine". You know how when you are little toy commercials show a figure thing flying around shooting plastic missles into stuff and it looks all neat and ya get it home and... it sits there, falls on its face, and can shoot.. no scratch that... hurl a plastic missle an amazing 5 inches. Yeah, I got this game home and I had imagined going back in time with Mario and saving the Princess from Koopa in a dinosaur world then going into the future and crap, but it turned out that you go into this bar thing and talk to Benjamin Franklin who is sitting on this stool. That's all I ever figured out how to do actually...

Another game is eh... Super R Type I think, it was too bad of a game I just didn't like it and set it beside my TV, and (I had rented this game) about 5 or 6 days later it was sitting there and it was a little late to go back where it came from... those people were nice and they didn't charge my dad the whole bill when he took it back.

Another game is Micro Machines, one of the other local game stores had this thing rigged! I would look at the amazing box and imagine what it would be like to play it (much like Mario's Time Machine...) and I rented it a few times and each time that thing wouldn't work when I got it home. I took it back in there and they stuck it in their NES which was behind the desk and whammo it worked the first time. It did the exact same thing to my friend.

I recently bought this game called IL2 Sturmovik, and guess what, the box looked really good, so I bought it and got it home. It's an airplane game where you are either Russian or German fighting the other country in World War Two. Well the graphics aren't like they should've been (like the ones represented on... THE BOX!) because it made my computer get all laggy and I had to lower the resolution to get it to fly right, you can't really shoot anything `cause the gunsights are wobbling all over the place, the plane tries to fly straight up when you don't hold the buttons in, if you dive-bomb stuff you most likely dive bomb it Kamakaze style, and it takes forever to load up on the computer.

Theres a game called Blast Corps for N64. You ride around in Dump Trucks and Big Ole' Trains and Robots and blow up stuff, till it gets like impossible to beat. It was almost fun riding around the General Lee look-alike car because it goes fast and the boat and stuff but it just gets hard and not fun. I don't remember the box to it. Wait yeah I do, it had a robot thingy flying up and stuff. Well that's all I can think of for now and beware the boxes!

--Evil Mani Mani



Blast Corps required a lot of thought, and it was very difficult, but I enjoyed it immensely. Too bad you didn't, otherwise we could have been SOUL BRUDDAHS. Too bad, non-SOUL BRUDDAH.

--StarmanDeluxe



Micro Machines never worked for me either, I think because an unlicenced company made it. Same goes for anything by Color Dreams and about half of Tengen's games. Those unlicenced carts were jinxed.

Yeah, Blast Corps got impossible eventually, but it was still fun. Flying Jetpack Robot all the way! :)

--SimonBob

Have I played a bad video game? You'd better believe it! There's several I'd like to add, but since you said worst video -game- ever, I'll just mention one that's REALLY bad.

Without a doubt, the worst game I've ever played is Deadly Towers for the NES. Believe me, it's horrible. On the packaging the main character is this knight warrior guy, but the actual game sprite looks like a fish with legs or something. You move quicky, but your sword is slower than I can possibly stress. The music's medicore as well, and it just sounds exactly the same throughout the whole game. I played it for a few minutes and gave up in total frustration. That game isn't worth the sticker slapped on it. Avoid at all costs, unless of course you can get it dirt cheap or something.

--Lindsay Meanie



Suddenly, I have realized that all of you people are saying the same things about a bunch of different games. Therefore, I cannot think of a witty or clever response, like I usually do. So, I issue my sincerest apologies.

--StarmanDeluxe



Yutz once made a fluke that said "Deadly Towers 2". If that happens then I will renounce any non-corporeal presences that I may have once suspected of existing.

--SimonBob

i don't like twister. it al started at the family reunion back in '92. gramps and nana were treating the slew of us to some legendary, homemade asparagus surprise when suddenly uncle fred invited everyone to a good ole runabout of family football. i swear we played that stupid game for the remainder of our stay at nana's. it was like: get up, eat, play risk, shower, play risk, sleep, play risk... on and on and on. lucky i took most railroad crossings and established my monopoly around boardwalk, stealing me yet another win. yes, i am so good at games, i win everyone i play. i have never lost to tic-tac-toe ever. once when i was playing tic-tac-toe i tied though. speaking of which, i have a clip-on tie i wore to nana's funeral. afterwards i watched catdog. and that is why i hate golf... it is too darn slow for my tastes.

peace out f00ls,
bink



I am perplexed by your... Oddness...

--StarmanDeluxe



Yeah, table tennis does suck. When I tried to play it I kept missing the frisbee. And even if I could get the puck then someone would shoot me before I could put the six in the corner pocket.

--SimonBob

Ok, I don't hate many games, but one game I DESPISE BEYOND THE BELIEFS OF A GRAPE-INFESTED SWAMP is...(note: This game was on NES, and I was about 4 or so.) Sesame Street Math!!! (or something of the sort.) It really wasn't a bad game, It's just that... Well, here's my story.

There was this movie store that had a great selection of video games. I rented this game, featuring grover (the blue puppet guy) and a bunch of tiny aliens. Not to mention math. I had another Sesame Street game also, called "Big Bird's Hide and Seek." This game was SO COOL. I'm telling you, if you were a three-to-four year old and yu saw this game, you would have peed your pants. That game rocked.

Well, the end of the rental period came, and my mom went to collect the rented game. Sitting there were two Sesame Street games, one a rental (the math one) the other my own. (the l33t Big Bird Hide 'n Seek) Well, my mom just picked up one, and it happened to be Big Bird. I didn't think this was a big deal, I could just go to the movie store and switch the games. But, we didn't go to the store, and eventually, the WRETCHED STORE WENT OUT OF BUISNESS!!! And so, I never saw my beloved Big Bird Hide 'n Seek ever again, and I was stuck with the ever-annoying math game.

That game lost me one of my favorites, so that I now have missing link in my video game chain. This is the reason I DESPISE The Sesame Street Math game. Thank you, and good night.

--MikeyNess



You poor, unlucky person! That's truly horrible. YOU LOST A SESAME STREET GAME. OH LORD NO. IF YOU COULDN'T TELL, I WAS BEING SARCASTIC. COUNTING GAMES ARE NOT L33T. SORRY.

--StarmanDeluxe



I once thought maybe I could get away with putting Super Mario Bros. 1 in the box for SMB3, but my video store puts the barcodes right on the cartridge. No wonder your store went out of business, I'll bet they only labelled the boxes and people stole all the good games.

--SimonBob


OK, that's all. Send me letters and stuff.