Missing stuffage
Okay so I finally decided to write an article! Most recent articles are thoughtful thoughts on this site that we all care about..and the time the author has spent here, and I like those articles. However, this is not one of those articles. At around 11pm any constructive thought in my brain is halted, and 11pm was about 3 hours ago. But I feel like writing an article and its gonna be a bit off so if you dont like that sort of thing then run along and organize your KISS action figure collection. Thanks.
Recently when I was playing EB I realized that there was something missing. "What could be missing from EB, the greatest game on the planet?" you ask? Well, a few things, actually. And these missing elements actually disturbed me, so I looked around more in where I was at the time (some house in Twoson), looking for something that I wasnt finding and wasnt going to find. Sorry if you're a bit annoyed with me for not telling you what it was I was looking for yet but I would be surprised if you hadnt figured it out for yourself already. Think, people! Every *normal* house has a few things in common.
First of all, there is the bathroom issue. "Where have all the bathrooms gone!?" Seriously. Do people in Eagleland just...never use the bathroom? Thats pretty amazing. Hey, I wouldnt mind livin' in a world like that. No waste means no sewers and the endless waste that comes along with it, which is better for...the enviorment! And stuff! But at some point in Earthbound, doesnt Ness' mother say something to the effect of "Cant talk now, I'm in the middle of cleaning the toilet!" all happily and stuff? Yes, yes I think so. Its something quite like that. So...where is the bathroom? And why are there none anywhere at all? Disturbing, is it not? Have I asked you too many questions? No?
Besides that there is the mystery of the missing rooms. *insert eerie mani-mani sound clip here*. The children of Eagleland must be DARN spoiled, considering in most houses they're the ones who get the rooms. Does Ness' mom sleep on the couch every night? Or...a hideaway bed? On..the table, maybe? Not to mention Paula has that big huge room all to herself. That must be one of the rewards of being a little psychic. But if that generalization were true, what about the places that dont have rooms at all? The temple in Dalaam for example, there is a rug...a bird phone...a pedestal...a few presents, and oh yeah, a really large chair. I doubt that napping on gold tile is compareable to "sleeping on a cloud". Of course I could always be wrong because its happened before.
In the end it boils down to this: people in the world of EarthBound don't sleep normally and dont take showers or do any other bathroomish things, (nor do they seem to own too many cars or ever cook, but I wont get into that because I think you get the point I'm making here), and for a while that really bothered me. It really did! Im not even joking. It bothered me so much that I just dedided to play more EarthBound. Great solution yes I know! and I teleported to Onett and went to go visit the house of Ness. After munching on some and promptly being sent to bed I ended up in the hallway and realized something that I'de realized before but never gave a second thought to-I couldnt see the other side of the hallway! and the house did look so much bigger from the outside...
From there I made a conclusion that I would have made years ago if not for the fact that I didnt care much: there are rooms in EB that you dont ever see! Like...the bathrooms. And the other stores in the malls..and whatever the heck is on the other floors of the Monotolli building. Perhaps the programers were just too lazy and didnt want to make those extra rooms because they didnt think they were practical. Im not sure. Of course I have no idea ...you might have already thought about this a lot and came to the same conclusion long ago. Or you might just not care. Either way, I've had my fun and I'm done rambling.
Okay so I finally decided to write an article! Most recent articles are thoughtful thoughts on this site that we all care about..and the time the author has spent here, and I like those articles. However, this is not one of those articles. At around 11pm any constructive thought in my brain is halted, and 11pm was about 3 hours ago. But I feel like writing an article and its gonna be a bit off so if you dont like that sort of thing then run along and organize your KISS action figure collection. Thanks.
Recently when I was playing EB I realized that there was something missing. "What could be missing from EB, the greatest game on the planet?" you ask? Well, a few things, actually. And these missing elements actually disturbed me, so I looked around more in where I was at the time (some house in Twoson), looking for something that I wasnt finding and wasnt going to find. Sorry if you're a bit annoyed with me for not telling you what it was I was looking for yet but I would be surprised if you hadnt figured it out for yourself already. Think, people! Every *normal* house has a few things in common.
First of all, there is the bathroom issue. "Where have all the bathrooms gone!?" Seriously. Do people in Eagleland just...never use the bathroom? Thats pretty amazing. Hey, I wouldnt mind livin' in a world like that. No waste means no sewers and the endless waste that comes along with it, which is better for...the enviorment! And stuff! But at some point in Earthbound, doesnt Ness' mother say something to the effect of "Cant talk now, I'm in the middle of cleaning the toilet!" all happily and stuff? Yes, yes I think so. Its something quite like that. So...where is the bathroom? And why are there none anywhere at all? Disturbing, is it not? Have I asked you too many questions? No?
Besides that there is the mystery of the missing rooms. *insert eerie mani-mani sound clip here*. The children of Eagleland must be DARN spoiled, considering in most houses they're the ones who get the rooms. Does Ness' mom sleep on the couch every night? Or...a hideaway bed? On..the table, maybe? Not to mention Paula has that big huge room all to herself. That must be one of the rewards of being a little psychic. But if that generalization were true, what about the places that dont have rooms at all? The temple in Dalaam for example, there is a rug...a bird phone...a pedestal...a few presents, and oh yeah, a really large chair. I doubt that napping on gold tile is compareable to "sleeping on a cloud". Of course I could always be wrong because its happened before.
In the end it boils down to this: people in the world of EarthBound don't sleep normally and dont take showers or do any other bathroomish things, (nor do they seem to own too many cars or ever cook, but I wont get into that because I think you get the point I'm making here), and for a while that really bothered me. It really did! Im not even joking. It bothered me so much that I just dedided to play more EarthBound. Great solution yes I know! and I teleported to Onett and went to go visit the house of Ness. After munching on some and promptly being sent to bed I ended up in the hallway and realized something that I'de realized before but never gave a second thought to-I couldnt see the other side of the hallway! and the house did look so much bigger from the outside...
From there I made a conclusion that I would have made years ago if not for the fact that I didnt care much: there are rooms in EB that you dont ever see! Like...the bathrooms. And the other stores in the malls..and whatever the heck is on the other floors of the Monotolli building. Perhaps the programers were just too lazy and didnt want to make those extra rooms because they didnt think they were practical. Im not sure. Of course I have no idea ...you might have already thought about this a lot and came to the same conclusion long ago. Or you might just not care. Either way, I've had my fun and I'm done rambling.
