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Must All Crows be Spiteful? - by Cut Man

Must All Crows be Spiteful?

As I look back on all the adventure, all the good times, and all the mischief, there are many questions which continue to swirl about my head. Like why, for instance, doesn't the photo man ever get so upset over never being payed for his quality work that he gives Ness half a peace sign? But the most reocurring question, is, "must all crows be spiteful?" And now, I plan to wrestle with every possible side to this rubics cube of a question, in the hope that maybe, just maybe, I might be able to color-code it and move on.

-- PART I: The roots of the problem

In order to truly begin a one-sided debate on this varied subject, one must start at its source. Webster's dictionary defines the word spiteful as, "full of revealing spite or malice; malicious." Now, malicious is a pretty strong word, especially when used as an adjective of a non-predatory member of the bird family, which doesn't usually pose a threat to humans. Unfortunately, certain books and movies have given these fine feathered friends a bad rap, and caused some to get a mean streak. Either way, we, humans, began the whole problem.

-- PART II: How does this apply to EarthBound?

In the town of Onett [home of Ness, hero of Eagleland], the crow species seems to thrive quite nicely. The crows there, unfortunately, are the bad eggs of the bunch, bringing the reputation down for all the goodie-two-wings. Now, I wonder, how did they get to be this way? Frantic townspeople believe it was the doing of Giygas and his wicked cohorts - putting a spell over the animals of Eagleland. But I implore you to read on as I further examine this theory.

-- PART III: Spiteful, or just misunderstood?

My attack on the Giygas theory: how come there are *two* canines in the city of Onett who weren't angry? Was it because they were inside with their masters at the time of Giygas supposed "trance-inducing"? No, because at least one of these two animals was outside during the scenario. I believe that the animals of Onett weren't brainwashed at all - I believe their actions were out of misunderstanding and/or mistreatment.

You see, in Mother [EB Zero], a bird sanctuary existed in peace and tranquility. However, that area is nowhere to be found in Mother 2. Why is that? Was the santuary destroyed? Indeed it was. And maybe this is the exact reason the crows turned spiteful. Why the dogs, though? Maybe the crows "persuaded" them through painful attacks until they gave in. Why have only air forces when you can cover the ground as well? Also, dogs could infiltrate homes as pets, collecting information until just the right time.

The appearance of Giygas' minions on earth gave the crows an idea. They would attack just then - and by doing so, SEEM like they worked for Giygas, so people would back off and let them get their full revenge. This plan failed, however, when Ness began to whack away at these creatures with his arsenal of baseball bats. Couldn't he see the pain in their eyes? He could have checked under their sunglasses, which they wore to hide their sorrow from the world. If only we, as humans, would check under the sunglasses of time a little more often. We'd sure learn a lot about the world.

-- PART IV: Conclusion

No, I do not believe that all crows should be spiteful. I believe that, if we can take in a canary, a parrot, or even an ostrich as a pet, we should open our homes, and our hearts, to a crow. These beloved animals can and will make our lives richer - if we only let them. And someday, maybe, we'll overcome their rage, and they will forgive us. Thank you God, for the miracle of the crow, and thank you Shigesato Itoi, for the miracle of EarthBound.


Other Submissions by Cut Man

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Cut Man Odds Are You've Done It In Moonside
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7/31/06 0.00

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